September 23, 2013
Posted by: Tony in Blog
WARNING: in this week's blog - some epic 80s hair-dos. But first...
Lucy had a terror of public speaking. This was an immediate problem as she was at a conference in Kuala Lumpur and that afternoon she was speaking to over 50 delegates. As she sat there, she thought about how she always blushed when she was nervous, and how even at school her teacher used to tell her to ‘stand up straight in front of the class’ and ‘speak up’. (‘Thanks, Mr Morgan.’)
I created this technique called Bounce! in my book Relax in a minute. It is good for managing how you react to stressful thoughts and situations. Are you stressed? Do you want to relax right now? Let’s Bounce! you into a different state.
- You need to work out what different, positive, bouncy state you would like to Bounce! yourself into. How would you like to feel? Make an image of how that would look in your mind. Make it big and bright, and put yourself in the picture, so that you very clearly see how positive things look when you feel this way.
- Briefly make an image in your mind of how you look when you’re stressed-out or anxious. For some people, this can be distressing, so make the picture black and white and quite grainy so it is hard to see. Make any sounds muffled and quiet.
- Put your different, bouncy state right in the corner of this stressed-out image. Make it the size of a tiny little bouncy ball in the corner of the image.
- When you’re ready, Bounce! your positive state so that it grows really big, comes much closer and completely covers the old, unwanted picture. As you do it, exclaim, ‘Bounce!’
- The unwanted picture melts away into the background. Now look at your huge bouncy state in front of you. Bright colours, clear, great sounds, and good feelings. Now clear your mind. Think about something entirely different, such as what you will have for dinner tonight. This bit is important.
- Go through steps 1) to 5) again. Bounce! at least five or six times again over the course of a full minute with exactly the same process, until you have problems seeing the unwanted image, and you can’t feel those unpleasant thoughts any more. Bounce! more quickly each time you go. (1 minute)
Why does it work? Well you do it so many times that every time you think about the unwanted behaviour, the image of exactly how you'd like to be pops in.
By the way, exclaiming ‘Bounce!’ in a crowded coffee shop is a fairly guaranteed way to get attention. So if you’re some- where busy, you can do the Bounce! bit silently.
Retro hair blog-break: Check out personal development guru Tony Robbins explaining the NLP Swish pattern by clicking the image below. I've adapted my Bounce! technique from the Swish. The video's old, and the hairstyles are BIG (I mainly like it for that!), but he explains it well, as usual.
When Lucy bounced, what she was chuffed about was how it instantly stopped her from blushing so much. She said, ‘I just find that I’m thinking less about blushing. That makes me feel less anxious, and so I blush less, and think more about how I’d like to appear and feel.’
That’s it. One of the effective things about Bounce! is that it works differently for everybody. It is your own individual technique. You simply pick how you’d like to feel, and Bounce! into it.